Insights & Art

Straight from the dome to the plate.

Category: Basketball.

The Coronation of a King

The buzzer rings, the sea of gold cries out in dismay and LeBron James lies prone on the floor, weeping his heart into the hardwood. 

Humans have always used symbolism to understand the world around them, a president is not just an elected leader but the symbolic face and representation for a country. Likewise the pyramids of Giza and the Great Wall of China are more than just the summation of stone and physical labour; they are testaments of a nation’s power and culture. Game 7 of the 2016 finals was more than just a 48 minute basketball game, the entire narrative of two teams, two cities were at stake and LeBron James understood the consequences of defeat.

2015 and a vast majority of 2016 belonged to the San Francisco Warriors and in particular Stephen Curry. Slowly, yet surely he had become the poster boy of the NBA, the fast cutting, methodical chaos known as the Warrior’s offense and shooting had turned the game into a spectacle. Basketball had once again entered the public consciousness just like when Jordan was wearing red or when O’Neal and Bryant were dominating in the purple and gold; the Warriors were that good.

In 2011, James destroyed Derrick Rose’ threat to his throne. In 2012-2014 another challenged had arrived, a 6’10 scoring machine with the touch and dribbling abilities of a guard; yet at the peak of his athletic powers, James cemented his dominance over the NBA. In 2015, another player ascended to take Kevin Durant’s position; the 6’2 point guard; Stephen Curry. Slowly you could see the gears of the NBA shift, the league was getting smaller, shooting became more vital to success; Stephen Curry’s emergence was almost meteoric. Then Curry became the only player in league history to win the MVP in an unanimous vote; James’ relevance was slowly being diminished, out shone by the lovable assassin, who had turned three point shooting into a video game.

The narrative had changed; three point shooting wasn’t just important to winning a championship, it was now ESSENTIAL, and Stephen Curry and Klay Thompson apparently embodied everything you would want as the foundations of your team.

How did LeBron James translate this? “I’m a 6’8, 250 pound locomotive who is also the most versatile player in NBA history and you don’t think I’m good enough to win a ring because I don’t shoot 5 three pointers per game?… We’ll see.”

However, in the 2015 finals, James was unable to overcome the stacked Warriors team with a depleted Cavaliers squad. The conditions were completely unfair to James, yet history only has time for winners, that’s how society works. We measure every player through milestones, small details eventually fade from the public memory as time goes on; but milestones, they’ll stay. (How many people remember Kobe Bryant shooting 25% in game 7 against the Boston Celtics in 2010? No, we just remember him for his 5 rings)

The Stephen Curry narrative was flourishing.

However, LeBron James rose to the challenge displaying almost superhuman energy and fortitude during the final three games of the 2016 finals. These are his statistics for game 5, 6 and 7 respectively.

GAME 5: 41 Points, 16 Rebounds, 7 Assists, 3 Steals, 3 Blocks, 2 Turnovers, 53.3% Field Goal Shooting, 50% Three Point Shooting, 62.5% Free Throw Shooting.

GAME 6: 41 Points, 8 Rebounds, 11 Assists, 4 Steals, 3 Blocks, 1 Turnover, 59.3% Field Goal Shooting, 50% Three Point Shooting, 75% Free Throw Shooting.

GAME 7: 27 Points, 11 Rebounds, 11 Assists, 2 Steals, 3 Blocks, 5 Turnovers, 37.5% Field Goal Shooting, 20% Three Point Shooting, 80% Free Throw Shooting.

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CLEVELAND, THIS IS FOR YOU!

Three images resonate with me when I reflect on this series. Firstly, J.R. Smith’s Alley-Oop to LeBron James in game 6, it was another reminder that despite the growing mileage of his body, James is still one of the most physically imposing human beings, ever. It reminded us that despite how sweet and fast Curry’s release was, he was a full 5 inches shorter and 60 pounds lighter. The secondly play was Kyrie Irving’s ridiculous step back three point dagger against the unanimous MVP; when the offense on both teams seemed to stagnant and die, this was the spark that sealed the fate of the Warriors. Finally, I will remember James’ superhuman rejection on Andre Iguodala, rising up like Superman himself, James comes down with the furry of an avalanche and smites the ball into the crowd, all within the span of a second.

We all live vicariously through our athletes, because we want them to succeed and triumph against insurmountable odds. We want to believe that the physical constraints of flesh are nothing when met with an unstoppable will, that trivial things like injuries and age are secondary to blistering passion. We want our athletes to succeed, because they represent the achievements of humanity, because they symbolise what is possible. And in the final 3 games of the 2016 season, James forever etched himself into our conscious, how many years will it be till we find another player of his caliber?

So what does the 2016 championship ring mean for LeBron James?

“James is unclutch”
“James can never win in his own town, he needs to join up with others”
“James will never rise to the moment like Kobe Bryant or Michael Jordan”

Here are the facts, the Golden State Warriors had a legendary season whilst breaking the 1996 Bull’s record of 72 wins and maintaining the longest winning spree of 24 consecutive victories. Here are the facts, Stephen Curry’s 2016 statistics are mind numbing; 30.1 points, 5.4 rebounds, 6.7 assist, 5 three pointers per game and being the only person in the 90%-45%-50% club. But this is also another fact, only three teams have ever been down 3-1 in the finals and have managed to reach a game 7 and only one team has won the ring whilst being in that position; 2016 Cleveland Cavaliers.

As of now, James currently sits as the 6th greatest player of all time in my all time list behind Jordan, Jabbar, Russell, Johnson and Duncan. However with the 2016 championship fresh under his belt, James is quickly climbing up the ladder of greatness. Now, more than ever LeBron James is no longer battling his opponents on the court, but rather for a permanent place in the hall of basketball greatness, as one of the most gifted players to ever step onto the hardwood.

“I set out a goal two years [ago], and I came back to bring a championship to this city, I gave everything I had. I put my heart, my blood and my sweat, my tears to this game.”

3 RINGS.
3 FINALS MVP.
4 MVP.

We are all witnesses.

Celebrate hard, Cleveland.

The Royalty of King James.

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Goodnight, sweet prince.

The rankings on my top 10 greatest basketball players of all time are as dear to me as water, sun and food. I constantly revise the list and after a few beers I can even name the players backwards. Every player wants to retire from the game, knowing they are widely regarded as a legend, knowing their style and flash inspired a generation of fans, knowing their name will be fondly remembered when a fresh crop of basketball players have replaced them. Truly every basketball player tries to fight for the audience’s memories and loyalty, knowing that time will eventually fade away their greatness. My top 50 greatest player rankings and in particular my top 10 ranking stands as a testament to the basketball players that have forever cemented themselves into basketball lore, their combination of talent, skill and style has forever changed the game of basketball and evaluated it to a higher place. I woke up yesterday, watched some basketball clips, watched a pissed off Chris Paul torch the Washington Wizards whilst throwing up the filthy stat line of 38 points, 12 assists, 3 steals, 3 rebounds on 11/14 shooting from the field. I also watched Joe Johnson single handedly become the human torch, he could of shitted out fire by the end of the game and not have surprised a single person, draining an ungodly 10 out of 14 three pointers and turning the 76’ers game into an NBA2K game.

I also watched LeBron James just put him stamp upon the Utah Jazz, like an artist gently controlling how their painting turns out, LeBron James also was in total control of the game. He was the perfect combination of Magic Johnson, Larry Bird and Scottie Pippen, consistently collapsing the defence and kicking it out to Chalmers, Allen or Lewis, grabbing rebounds and anchoring the defense so Bosh could save his energy for offense and turning into a bulldozer on the break. I’ve never ever seen anyone control the game like LeBron James, he probably influences the game more than Magic Johnson, because defensively as a perimeter defender, he’s second only to Jordan and Pippen. I’ve watch Jordan games religiously and even I don’t think MJ can match his level of complete and utter domination of how the game plays out. Jordan slowly allowed Pippen to play Point Guard, smartly relinquished his touches so he could primarily focus upon his greatness gift, getting buckets and allowing the offense to flow more smoothly. James is expected to be the primarily scorer, grab the most or second most amount of rebounds, be the primarily play maker, be the defensive anchor and be the ice cold assassin in the clutch. He’s unbelievable and I sincerely think every Miami Heat player should donate 20% of their salary to James, he’s the work horse that never flatters, never tires and survives on 2 litres of water a week. My Bulls may never win a ring because they’re playing in the King James era, I may never get to see Derrick Rose humiliate LeBron James in the post season (Unless he keeps playing till 45) but regardless it has been a privilege to watch James play, greatness transcends time and I have no doubt I will be telling my grand children about LeBron James 4 decades from now.

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(Full credits to Kirk Goldsberry)

As I began to tire from watching Youtube clip after Youtube clip of basketball I slowly slipped away to my NBA fantasy land, a place where Michael Jordan is always 28 years old and only wears red, a place where Larry Bird’s threes never miss and a mystical land where Olajuwon’s dream shakes works 100% of the time. I began to wonder… Why isn’t LeBron James in my top 10 greatest players of all time? Right now he’s scarface after a mountain of cocaine, he’s Bo Jackson after being injected with moose testosterone, he’s the best player in the world. Well LeBron’s biggest weakness would be longevity, James has “only” played 9 years in the league, compare that to O’Neal’s 19 years (Though you could definitely convince me to forget his last 2 or 3 years after a few shots of bleach), Jabbar’s mind boggling 20 years (Though he was a walking corpse after year 18) or Jordan’s 13 seasons (I’m a Bulls fan, I will never EVER acknowledge his Washington days, EVER.) Right now my top ten listing currently stands as … 1) Jordan, 2) Jabbar, 3) Russell, 4) Magic, 5) Bird, 6) Duncan, 7) O’Neal 8) Chamberlain, 9) Bryant, 10) Olajuwon (I will say number 7-9 is completely interchangeable and they are separated only by a hair’s width) Does LeBron James deserve to crack the top 10? Does his once in a generation mixture of skill, size, athletic dominance and talent make up for the fact he hasn’t even played 10 full seasons yet?

I say yes.

Let me just say if I jumped into a time machine and could select any basketball player from any year to start my franchise, my picks would be… 1) Jordan, 2) LeBron James, 3) Jabbar, 4) Johnson (You could definitely convince me to take Magic over Kareem, there’s still O’Neal, David Robinsons, Moses Malone, Olajuwon etcetera, the next best Point Guard is Oscar Robertson… A bigger drop off), 5) Bird, 6) O’Neal, 7) Olajuwon, 8) Duncan, 9) Chamberlain, 10) Bryant. I still wouldn’t pick the King over Michael, he’s the one player that stills intimidates every one in the room just due to his sheer presence. He’s the ultimate competitor and if he wasn’t a basketball player he’d be in jail for being an over competitive psychopath. He’s the one player that cheats in a game of cards against the parents of his college team mates because winning is everything, winning defines him and to be honest it’s an unhealthy obsession. He’s the one player that will dedicate his entire life to destroy my team if he found out I picked him second. But from an athletic position, LeBron James sits up there with the Air Jordans, the Shaquillie O’Neals and Wilt the Stilt. A long with Magic LeBron James is the ultimate glue player, he comfortably plays the 1 to the 4 and can guard centres for brief periods of time. I have no doubt LeBron James can easily play until he’s 35, even in these last 9 years he has evolved his game in multiple ways constantly redefining himself. For the first few years it was clear LeBron wanted to emulate Michael Jordan or Kobe Bryant, he for some strange reason viewed the post with disdain opting to dominate the ball and thus kill ball movement and willing choosing to play hero ball more often than not.

Image (Credits to Kirk Goldsberry)

Having to share the ball with another ball dominant alpha dog (Dwyane Wade) and a completely over qualified third wheel (Chris Bosh), LeBron James in Miami, focused less upon quantity and more on quality and efficiency now that the team’s burden wasn’t completely placed upon his shoulders. In 2011 he took less threes, played less hero ball, though all three stars were still unable to adjust thus resulting in a lot of standing around and isolation plays. It wasn’t until his world wide humiliation at the hands of the Dallas Mavericks that LeBron James finally noticed “Hey! I’m a 6’8 monster with a 44 inch vertical, I’m built like a Russian tank and 95% of times my opponents will never be able to contain me, Maybe I should work in the post!” BOOM, there in 2013 LeBron James has unleashed the most complete inside outside game since 1996 Jordan. Blessed with unparalleled basketball IQ, even in 2020 LeBron James can still be a dominant force in the NBA, following this trend of embracing the post, spreading the ball and only taking over in the final minutes. Does this overshadow the fact LeBron James has only played 9 full regular seasons? Absolutely. You can throw any team mates around 2012/2013 James and I’m guaranteeing you at least one championship, how many other players have that ability in the modern era of basketball? Jordan, Magic, Bird, Duncan, O’Neal, Olajuwon and maybe Chamberlain, maybe Bryant… There are 7 or 8 players maximum in the whole history of basketball.

We’ll look back at LeBron James, the same way my grand father looks back at Russell, the same way my uncles remember Doctor J, the same way children in the 70s looked at Bird and children in my generation remember Kobe Bryant. He has defined the league ever since Kobe Bryant became slipping in 2011 as a player. Now more than ever this is officially LeBron Jame’s league. The best thing? James has a nemesis; Kevin Durant and the upcoming Paul George. Jordan always lacked a rival, someone who could inspire him to greater heights, someone who would force him into the corner a few times leading him to respond with greatness. There was talk of Clyde Drexler being Jordan’s equal in 1991 as him came second in MVP voting. A bitter and pissed off Jordan went out to smoke the Blazers with 6 three pointers in the the first half (NBA record for the finals) and dropped 35 points in the first half also an NBA record for the finals, that discussion was never mentioned again. Jordan retired two years later, bored of basketball, he had conquered the world, he had broken multiple records and was one of the most famous people in the world, there was no leaf left unturned. (I would give both my limbs to the basketball gods if they allowed Bryant to be born in 1960 and thus eligible for the 1984 draft.)

My opinion? King James becomes the third greatest player of all time. He’s already had a better career than Olajuwon and in terms of hardware, LeBron James is already in front. Bryant’s peak at 2006 was wasted on a rebuilding Laker team, but regardless he never reached the same mastery that LeBron James displays, the same mastery that allows him to influence EVERY action on the court from an offensive and defensive stance. Chamberlain and O’Neal never had that killer instinct LeBron James is now equipped you won’t want either player in at the final 5 minutes of a tight playoff game, would you really rank them over James? Bird and Magic don’t deserve to be in the same breathe as LeBron James defensively, 50% of the time LeBron James is already better. Russell would struggle in today’s NBA, a 6’9-6’10 centre that shoots as well as Kwame Brown, lacked any real post moves and relied mostly upon the fast break or put backs for points. (Did I mention he’s built like Durant?) Kareem Abdul Jabbar is LeBron’s first real barrier, this man played for 20 years and won finals MVP 14 years apart… Will I be surprised if James edges him out at the end of his career? Not entirely. But will it be hard? Dam straight. Then and only then does LeBron James deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence as Jordan, but I feel like in 2020 after one decade of complete dominance under his belt, it’s going to a much closer conversation.

LeBron James.
2 Rings.
4 MVPs.
2 Finals MVPs.
9 All Star Games.
NBA Rookie of the Year 2004.
Scoring Champion 2008.
7 Time All-NBA First Team.
2 Time All-NBA Second Team.
Playoff averages of 28.1 points, 8.6 rebounds, 6.7 assist, 47.2%.

– Chingy out.

Chingy’s NBA Insights, 17th December 2013.

I don’t think anyone saw how the first few weeks of NBA basketball would turn out, there’s been twists, turns, jumps, falls and leaps, the beginning of this season has been completely overwhelming, underwhelming and a massive headache in general. Let’s just do a mutual agreement with the audience that the Eastern Conference is putrid, since the fall of the Bulls dynasty in 98, the league has been dominated by the Western Conference completely. I mean the Boston Celtics standing at the fourth seed? A team who relies upon Jeff Green and Jordan Crawford as their fourth quarter closers? The Charlotte Bobcats at the 6th seed? (Read that again), MY Chicago Bulls at the 8th spot and without their leader Derrick Rose? Seriously the only time I was engaged at during the New York games was when I was trying to figure out why Kenyon Martin looked like an exact replica of Carmelo Anthony, from the tattoos, the white headband and the ever expanding waist line. I’ll end this paragraph by saying only three teams in the east have records above 500. Proceed to light yourself on fire.

The Western Conference has also thrown a few surprises our way, I mean Monta Ellis actually looking for his team mates? Good God almighty, Arron Afflalo being arguably a top 5 shooting guard, behind James Harden (1), Klay “Cash Money” Thompson (2), Dwyane Wade (3), Monta Ellis (4 and can I say once again, Good God almighty) with Afflalo checking in at 5… God this generation of Shooting Guards are horrendous. I mean if I told you a few weeks ago that Portland would be currently sitting on 818. with Phoenix sitting at the 8th seed in front of the Grizzlies, Warriors and Timberwolves, you would of spear tackled me off a cliff, smiling you had done the basketball world a favour. Throw in Derrick Rose’ injury A-FUCKING-GAIN and Kobe Bryant’s near quad triple double, 9 points, 8 rebounds, 8 turn overs whilst averaging 28 minutes a game. (Sorry, couldn’t resist) and then Toronto Raptors sending Rudy “Journeyman” Gay to the Kings in an attempt to wipe their salary clean for the 2014 draft. This has been such a hectic start to the basketball season, the strangeness of everything still hasn’t fully hit me, I mean Portland and Spurs ripping off a 10+ win streak within the first few weeks? Boogie Cousins quickly taking Blake Griffin’s spot of “Most-Hated-Loved-Star” I just need to throw out an article.

“Carmelo Anthony recruiting Rajon Rondo.”
I definitely see this rumour as something that actually happened, let’s set the table… 1) New York Knicks have had one of the best depressing starts in their history, I’m surprised James Dolan hasn’t been publicly assassinated. 2) Carmelo Anthony is pissed off with the brand of basketball the Knicks have been playing, JR Smith looks like a rookie, his 2013 statistics of 18.1 points off 42.2%/5.3 rebounds/ 2.7 assist has been replaced with 11.2 points off 34.8%/ 4.7 rebounds/ 1.9 assist… KEEP BALLING EARL SMITH III. Tyson Chandler is out and Raymond Felton is 5 months away from appearing on The Biggest Loser. I can totally see Anthony reaching out to another star (I think Rondo lost the title of Superstar personally) to re-energise the Knick’s franchise. 3) Knicks need to keep Carmelo happy, because he’s a free agent at the end of this season and apart from the flashing lights and red carpet why would he want to stay such a disfunctional team. 3) Knicks are loaded and the organisation thinks the more money they spend the better they’ll be. 4) Celtics are in  rebuilding mode. 5) How do you expect Rajon Rondo to be effective in the Celtics? He’s a player that doesn’t look for his own shot, he’s reluctant close a game or draw to the paint because of his free throw shooting and his jumpshot is still suspect. Throw in the fact Jeff Green with Bradley/Crawford might be his best passing options and… Well… Yeah.

How would this dynamic work? Not good, or at the very least not good enough to secure New York anything in the Eastern Conference as long as LeBron James keeps playing like a 4 time MVP, 2 time Finals MVP, top 10 greatest player of all time does and the Pacers become a legitimate threat to take the title. Here’s a little excerpt from an article I did on Carmelo Anthony and what pieces he needs to win a ring.

“What pieces does one need to put around Carmelo Anthony so he can win his first ring? For me the obvious lack of defence stands out more than an 50 Cent in Goodluck Yum Cha Eastwood. You would definitely need to throw in a defensive guard that can hold his own on the offensive side (No that’s not Shumpert.) You need an elite athletic big man that can cover up Anthony’s defensive holes, and someone who can get you easy shots close to the hoop when Anthony is cold, (basically Noah/Hibbert.) Another thing that stands out for me apart from Anthony’s fantastic offensive game is his isolation based offense, he’s like a 6’8 Allen Iverson with a beer belly and a better jumpshot. Also unlike Paul George, Anthony can’t play without the ball, whilst George’s hustle and defensive impact can’t be recorded upon a stat sheet. 

It’s hard to build around an all offensive/no defensive Small Forward, examples in history include the Iceman, King, English and the Human Highlight Reel. (Gervin, Bernard King, Alex English and Dominique respectively.) All of them focused purely on offensive and all of them failed to win a ring. Julius Erving was one of the few examples that escaped this fate, though he needed a top 15 player of all time to help him accomplish it with Moses Malone. So basically the blueprint to win a ring includes…
Carmelo Anthony to be hotter than lava.
An elite rebounding big man that plays excellent defense and can work without the ball. (Dwight Howard 2009)
An good defensive guard that can score mildly efficiently, thus allowing the coach to hide Carmelo on the weakest offensive threat. (Jerry Sloan 1971)
Shooters that can spot up and spread the floor allowing Anthony to play street ball (Kenny Smith 1994, Steve Kerr 1994)

In summary, building around Anthony requires a strong defensive minded team, a team that will allow him to take the ball and isolate for 15 seconds on each possession along with an elite big man and players who can spread the floor. In today’s CBA environment, is that possible? Yes.. Is it fucking hard? Dam straight. Sorry New York fans, I just don’t think Anthony can ever win a ring especially with LeBron James’ game covering everything and Kevin Durant’s efficiency through the roof.”

See the Rajon Rondo trade doesn’t really fix any of this, Rondo’s a good defender, he’s not an elite defender and tasked with running an offense how many energy can he put into defence? Seriously. Throw in the fact that Rajon Rondo can not shoot, he’s hesitant to pull the trigger and would often rather throw a pass that forces a team mate to take a less second shot then take a sort of contested jumper. Doesn’t that mean Rajon’s defenders can drift slowly towards Carmelo Anthony? Absolutely! Does that ruin Carmelo Anthony’s less post game? Yes to an extent! Can Carmelo Anthony pass out of the post like LeBron James or O’Neal? Hell to the no! Of course I would rather have Rajon Rondo over Raymond Felton any given day, because I think Felton’s honestly forgotten what hedging a screen means or what the term defense means in general. But what’s the point, you still have to pay Stoudamire $20 million next year, you have an aging Chandler who looks like he’s going to miss 15-20 games every season from now until retirement and JR Smith is the spark plug for instant offense? What’s the point? You’re going to beat the Heat and Pacers 7 times out of 100 games if the Knicks get lucky.

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“Rondo is very limited offensively, feeling comfort taking shots only in the paint, his outside shooting shown in these two photos are clearly suspect.”

Chingy out.

Award Ceremony.

Ever since I was a young kid, I always knew my destiny was either to become
1) Michael Jordan’s lawyer.
2) NBA commissioner.
3) Create Illmatic 2 with Nas.

It seems like the stars are telling me to side with number 2 and thus I’m preparing for my eventual decent into NBA greatness and lore by creating some more AWARDS! Welcome to Chingy’s NBA awards! Based upon the history of the game, because as everyone knows “Basketball can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”

BILL WALTON AWARD:
“A big man that can affect the game upon every level, he runs his team’s offense and effectively anchors his team’s defense.”

Really only one player in today’s game effectively covers all the credentials needed for the Bill Walton award. This player is just a few inches taller than Walton, lacks Walton’s horrible red head mop and jungle armpit look but both players serve as the emotional leader of their squads. Marc Gasol is the one centre that can affect every aspect of a basketball game, some big men are animals on defense; D12, Sergeant Serge (If this isn’t his nickname already let’s just start calling him that) or Duncan. Some big men are beast offensively, they can spread the floor (KLove, Ryan Anderson) they might be able to flush the rock like Dominique (Griffin, DeAndre Jordan) but how many centres can effectively run your offense AND anchor your entire defense? Out of all the centres I just mentioned, Marc Gasol is by far the best passer and clearly has the highest IQ without question. Throw in the fact Gasol is a top 5-7 post player (2 Gasols, Aldridge, Hibbert, Lopez, Jefferson and Nowitzki) and if he gets doubled that means a team mate is getting an open jumpshot. Before the Rudy Gay trade, the offense ran through Gasol a lot, he always seemed to always be involved in the play, probably because his basketball IQ resembles his brother’s. Once Conley started to bloom, Gasol took a step back, letting his Point Guard create the offense and thus prioritising things like anchoring a defense and establishing a deep post position. Should I also bring up the fact he won the 2013 Defensive Player of the Year? Marc Gasol is the Swiss army knife of basketball, he excels in everything you would want your big men to excel in, like Walton, both players were not gifted athletic monsters, they just thought and thought the game through. Marc Gasol, the 21st century version of Bill Walton, (Though I must add I would take a prime Bill Walton over Marc Gasol is a heartbeat, greatest passing big men without question, His team trumped the 76’ers who had Julius Erving and Moses Malone.)

Runner up : Roy Hibbert
HIbbert doesn’t cover all elements of the award as well as Gasol, Hibbert never initiated nor created the offense. His passing is also mediocre and he often left it to George Hill and Paul George to get him the ball in the post or to get him pick and rolls and unlike Gasol he doesn’t win or dominate with his IQ, he does it because he’s a 7’2 wrecking ball with a huge body. However no one anchors a defense in today’s league like Hibbert, Dwight Howard’s defense and athletic ability has slipped and it’s visible. Pau Gasol’s statistics are inflated because he plays on a bad team, his post skills are still superb but his defense is pretty average and Tim Duncan just doesn’t play enough minutes and Parker is definitely the designated shot creator/offense runner of the team. LeBron James also deserves a legitimate mention, actually this is probably going to be a running theme, James can literally be a top 10 candidate in any award I make up and that’s just a testament to his excellence and superior skill, enjoy him whilst his prime last.

ISIAH THOMAS AWARD:
“The emotional leader of the team that clearly has a nasty streak, he is easily able to create his own shot and has mastered the get-teammates-involved-until-the-last-five-minutes-where-he-takes-over act.”

It’s pretty obvious who deserves this award, he’s one of the best Point Guards of all time and definitely one of the most fundamentally sound, basically a jack of all trades who currently leads my MVP voting ballot! CHRIS PAUL DON’T SHOW THEM THAT VERSATILITY. DON’T MAKE THOSE BIG MEN DANCE LIKE THAT. Chris Paul  is by far the best floor general in the game and everything he does seems to be a calculated move towards a win, from setting up alley oops to his high fliers, to using screens to get himself easy mid range jumpers, to buttering up the referees with some kind words during timeouts. Chris Paul is the maestro of the game, much like Bill Walton, he affects every single aspect of a game and his presence is always felt, after all he is directly responsible for approximately 40% of Clipper’s points either through scoring himself or assists. Much like Isiah Thomas, both players are the creators and closers during close games, no one apart from Crawford can create a shot, and CP3 regularly turns chicken feces into chicken salad. When saddled with two big men that can’t hit free throws or effectively execute a successful post move (Griffin and Jordan) and two wing players that are there to ONLY spread the floor (Reddick and Dudley) then the burden of every close game naturally rests upon the shoulders of CP3. Currently only LeBron James wields more influence upon the basketball game, edit, only a 6’8 freak of nature that’s going down as a top 5 player of all time with some of the highest IQ that the game has seen, wields more influence in 48 minutes. You might even convince me to start my team with a prime 2009 Chris Paul over a prime Isiah, (CP3’s 2009 statistics 22.8 points/ 11 assist (Leading the league)/ 2.8 steals (Leading)/ 50.3%/ 38.5  minutes) (Zeke’s 1985 statistics 21.2 points/ 13.2 assist (Leading)/ 2.3 steals/ 47.6%/ 38.1 minutes) Paul is a much better shooter, he consistently hits ridiculous jumpshots from different spots on the floor and from different angles, just watch him light up the Lakers in the 2011 playoffs or him dropping 45 points against Stephen Curry. Zeke on the other hand is the coldest Point Guard, he’s the Reggie Miller/Larry Bird of tiny guards, a long with Vinnie “Microwave” Johnson, the Bad Boys won’t losing a game if they were leading in the final minutes. Watch Zeke drop 16 points in NINTY SECONDS in the 84 playoffs, or Zeke dropping 25 points in the 1988 finals on a severely sprained ankle. ICE COLD. It’s close it’s definitely close and that’s a HUGE compliment for CP3, after all Isiah Thomas is the third best Point Guard behind Magic and Big O.

Runner up : LeBron James, I didn’t want to put LeBron James here because honestly he would win or be a runner up in every award I make. But with the downfall of Deron Williams and the looming retirement of the older generation of Point Guards such as Steve Nash and Jason Kidd, the new school Point Guards are too scoring based, plus you can’t tell me Derrick Rose, Westbrook or John Wall affect the game like the 6’4 walking double Jason Kidd. I’m not saying that’s a negative thing, these two styles focus upon different things, the banning of hand checking and the implementation of weaker fouls and the defensive 3 second rule has lead to quick guards starting to dominate and take on more responsibility when it comes to scoring through using their athletic ability. Moving back to the original subject, LeBron James affects the game on the highest level, he’s the main point guard for the Heat, he’s the team’s best defensive player, he’s the best scorer on Miami and is expected to drop 25+ points with a scorching efficiency. James is the modern (and more improved version and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise) variant of Oscar Robertson, Mr Triple Double from the 1960s. Honestly you could of even convinced me to give this award to King James, I just don’t think Isiah Thomas would of wanted a 6’8 monster winning this since his game was always a reminder of the NBA underdog.

Chingy out.

Thunder rumbles in LA.

Nothing sums up the new NBA season and the return of DERRICK CHI TOWN ROSE like this picture.

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Farewell lonely nights, farewell alcoholic stretches, farewell sadness and misery my Chicago Bulls are looking good with DERRICK CHI TOWN ROSE leading the ship. After skimming my articles because I’m a filthy Narcissus, I’ve realised that most of my articles are about the Eastern Conference that’s because the Bulls are in that conference and so is the best player in the NBA and a player that will crack my top 10 this year if he either win another MVP or ring; LeBron James. So welcome to the Western Conference Edition! GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT! (Jalen Rose wouldn’t mind… Right?)
(Edit : Miami Heat have scored 15 points unanswered against my Bulls, they have completely annihilated us from the three point line and on the turn overs, it seems I’m going to be an alcoholic again.)

“Will the Clippers be better than the Oklahoma Thunder in the 2014 season.”
YES SIR! What a massive shame, in 2012 we would of thought the Thunder were going to the Western Conference finals 7 times in a row and that would of happened if Presti never sent a top 10 player packing for Jeremy Lamb. a 12th pick and a long gone Kevin Martin…. Probably the most important trade since maybe the O’Neal trade to the Heat? Maybe even more important, this is a PRIME James Harden who has another 8-9 years of dominance, O’Neal was at the end of his physical peak… SAY IT AIN’T SO OKLAHOMA, SAY IT AIN’T SO!

Unfortunately, the Thunder’s glory days have slipped a little, they are still a top 8 team in the league, they’ll still make the playoffs because Kevin Durant will transcend as one of the greatest scorers of ALL TIME. But Westbrook is hurt, they are relying WAY too much on Jeremy Lamb and Reggie Jackson for perimeter shooting and Nick Collison to hold down the paint. They really have no spark off the bench, they are going to miss Kevin Martin’s 12-16 points per night, at least he spaced the floor and was a veteran ball player. Also I’ve chosen to completely ignore Kendrick Perkin’s existence as a human being and an NBA player for the sake of my sanity.

Clippers have REALLY stepped up their team with key additions, most importantly did I mentioned they stole a top 5 coach from the Celtics; Vinnie Del Negro (Hehehehe). They added some real shooting to their team, JJ Reddick and Jared Dudley, who shoot a combined 50.5% from the mid range and a 38% from 3 point land. C.R.E.A.M. I reckon Griffin will play this season with a MASSIVE chip on his shoulder, Griffin is the one good player in the league that gets disrespected league. He’s an athletic freak that gets featured on every highlight, but can’t close a game, hasn’t played in a meaningful game yet, can’t hit free throws, has a weak post move and an ugly jumpshot. Practice your fundamentals young blood! After being tossed around like a rag doll by Zac Randolph and being nationally blasted for not showing up with his partner in crime CP3. Griffin’s competitive nature is going to show, he’s going to lock himself in the gym practicing his spin moves, his jumpshot and his post hook, I can feel it. Regardless Griffin > Ibaka even last season and Ibaka also pulled a Houdini act in the playoffs without Westbrook to get him open shots. Chris Paul and Westbrook can play each other to the stand still, Westbrook might burn CP3’s ankles a few times but there is a fat chance CP3 might drop 11 assist, something which Westbrook struggles a little with.  So basically… Does the addition of Doc Rivers+3 point shooting+De Andre Jordan+Jamal Crawford+Matt Barnes over come Kevin Durant? I would say so, on most nights anyway because there’s always a threat of KD35 dropping 45 points off 58% shooting.

Well what advantages does the Thunder have over the Clippers? Well athleticism, Westbrook should have his DNA mixed with LeBron James to create the first super human. The combination of Westbrook and Durant easily dominates any player you pair with Chris Paul. Not only can Westbrook match Chris Paul on a statistical level, both players are alpha males, both serve as the emotional heart beat of the team and Westbrook could rather eat roadkill then step down from CP3. Also  have I mentioned the name Kevin Durant? 6’9 athletic stud, could easily be mistaken for a ghetto slender man due to the length of his arms. Durant, Bryant, Westbrook and Paul are the only players that could step on the court and think they’re LeBron’s equal. After all when you drop 30.6 points on close to 55% whilst adding 6 rebounds, 2.2 assist and playing against the top perimeter defender AND you’re under 25? Then you’re cash money, bank money, mafia money, corporate CEO, dollar dollar bills money. I mean Durant basically took Larry Bird’s scoring ability in 1986 and mixed it on steroids, he’s a much better athlete, has a jumpshot which rivals the Legend’s and is much more dangerous on the break. I can’t speak enough praise about Durant, he’s Gervin/McGrady/Bird rolled into one. There’s also the fear Kendrick Perkins might try to eat the Clippers ball boy. (Too far? Yep!)

Right now it’s arguably the Thunder are better than the clippers, since the Clipper’s offense and defense hasn’t officially meshed under the guidance of Doc Rivers. But I believe Clippers will be a better team than the Thunder by the end of the playoffs, even if they have no one to guard the Westbrook+Durant combination, (But then again which team really can? Pacers? Heat?)

– Chingy.

Derrick Rose Baby!

My soldier is back in action. I’ve waited too long for this day, show them why Chicago Bulls is the team to fear!

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D what? D ROSE.

14 Questions for 2014, Part Three.

Before I start this article, it’s been well known for weeks that Tracy McGrady and Allen Iverson have both retired. Dam.

Let’s just start a step back and reminisce. Both were two of the top twenty scorers to have ever graced a basketball court at their basketball prime, Iverson was a little man that took absolute punishment game after game after game, as he just flung himself into the big men with reckless abandon, someone who sacrificed his body completely in the chase of a championship. Most importantly someone with a big heart, who looked after all his friends and family after making it big, someone who didn’t have the heart to say no to people he cared about. His MVP year in 2001 remains one of the greatest little man season (Under 6’0) of all time and one of the best statistical year altogether, 31.1 points, 4.6 assist, 2.5 steals, 42% and being the 76’ers only shot creator, only scorer and being somehow able to drag that team to the finals with game changing players such as Eric Snow, George Lynch and featuring the mind shatter, ground breaking pick and roll of Pepe Sanchez and Tyrone Hill (One of the dirtiest looking individuals, commonly mistaken for Adolf Hitler)

T-Mac was one of the most gifted scorers at his peak, he was an evolutionary George Gervin, someone who maintained the Ice Man’s touch around the basket, yet was one of the first big men to have cash money jumpshot but had a smooth cross over and could dribble. So imagine a Penny Hardaway with a better offensive game, that was T-Mac at his peak and his 2003 Orlando Magic year ranks as one of the greatest scoring displays of all time, he exploded for 32.1 points, 6.5 rebounds, 5.5 assist whilst hitting 45.7% and having a PER of 30.3.

Both players were amazing athletes, amazing scorers that never quite blossomed into a crunch time player, McGrady in particular never got out of the first round even in the year where the Rockets ripped up a 22 game win streak. Both players were never the best leaders or team mates (We talking about PRACTICE.) and both players along with Tim Duncan, Bryant, Nowitzki, Garnett and O’Neal were the poster boy for the 2000s and both have disappeared from the game, it’s officially the era of LeBrons, Durants, Westbrooks and Roses now.

“Is LeBron James a better scorer than Carmelo Anthony?”
Oh watch out, Ryde’s finest Kevin Jiang is going to kill me after reading that I’ve insulted his sexual fantasy. I’m going to argue for King James, in my humble opinion he’s a better scorer than Carmelo Anthony (Even if Carmelo won the scoring title) and it’s my job to convince you it as well. I’m going to break my arguments into the sections which follows.

Who is a better mid range shooter?”
This one clearly goes to Carmelo Anthony, they isn’t an enormous gap between LeBron James and Anthony when it comes to shooting, but it’s big enough where I can safely say Carmelo is more deadly with his jumper.
Anthony : 1, James : 0

Who is a better slasher?”
Likewise this is an absolute no brainer, LeBron James maybe the greatest slasher after Air Jordan, it depends how you feel about Doctor J or even Dwyane Wade, but there’s no way Carmelo Anthony deserves to be mentioned in that group of players, LeBron James is a mix of Karl Malone and Charles Barkley when he runs his 505 special, otherwise known as the coast to coast finish. There’s no one better at finishing fast breaks in today’s game and LeBron’s finishing ability was a key foundation to why the Heat was such a scary team offensively.
Anthony : 1, James : 1.

Who is a better three point shooter?”
Now this one is much closer than people think, the obvious answer would be Carmelo Anthony, because he has one of the purest jumpshots in the NBA, but take a closer look, James actually has a higher 3 point percentage, 40.6% compared to Anthony’s 37.9% in the regular season. Keep in mind that Anthony took a lot more three point shots, almost double what James took, (6.2 to 3.3) so obviously his efficiency would drop. So an edge to Carmelo right now.

However, then you look at their playoff average and once again LeBron James is more accurate in efficiency, shooting a career average of 32.2% from behind the arc compared to Anthony’s 32.%, just slightly correct? Then throw in the fact Carmelo Anthony shot a disgusting 29.8% what was suppose to be his best year in his career, AKA 2013. James shot a blitzing 37.5% during the playoffs against better team and managed to take the Heat to the promised land.

But basketball isn’t a sport where you can sit down, look at the statistics and come to a scientific conclusion, statistics are not a be all end all to a basketball debate and discussion. Carmelo Anthony deserves more credit for being New York’s only scoring threat since JR Smith decided to become the anti-Durant after throwing an elbow at Jason Terry’s head. (I say Terry’s headband has magical properties) Also we should note that the New York Knicks were built around three, would LeBron James work in such a system? Would LeBron James feel comfortable consistently finding his shot behind the arc? Probably not, Anthony on the other hand felt right at home. He’s a scoring machine, that loves to shoot behind the arc, that feels comfortable throwing up 25 shots a game with more than 25% of them from the 3 point land. Carmelo Anthony wins this category, JUST.
Anthony : 2, James : 1.

Who is more versatile?”
Carmelo Anthony owner of one of the better post games in the league, where he abuses his combination of size, speed and strength and even somehow managed to drug Kobe to the stage where he declares Anthony harder to guard than LeBron James. As mentioned he’s got a crazy jumpshot and once he catches fire, lord have mercy. But he’s not passing threat (In fact if anyone is the anti-Isiah Thomas of this generation it has to be Tyrus Thomas 1A and Carmelo Anthony 1B), his post game still lacks the shine of LeBron’s which was polished and honed on the biggest stage, nor can he go coast to coast. LeBron James more than Carmelo is truly an inside-outside player.
Anthony : 2, James : 2.

Who is more effective in the post.”
LeBron James. He overwhelmed the league’s most athletic team in the 2012 finals, he treated Kevin Durant the same way a sex addict treats grade A quality pornography… In the words of the philosopher Souja Boy “Super man that hoe.” James just over powered the Thunder and Miami’s whole offense in games 2 to 5 revolved around James’ ability in the post and his super human athletic powers. Call me once Carmelo gets to the finals, much less takes the opposition down to the block for some Olajuwon reactments. “He just left him bamboozled!” (And if you haven’t, go Youtube “Olajuwon dominates Robinson” to watch a grand spanking.)
Anthony : 2, James : 3.

Who is a better free throw shooter.”
LeBron James has shot a career 74.7% in the regular season and 74.9% in the post season.

Carmelo Anthony has shot a career 80.8% in the regular season and 82.6% in the post season.

Rest easy Ken Kenobi.
Anthony : 3, James : 3.

Who is more efficient?”
LeBron James has shot a ridiculous 56.5% from the field and legend states if he breaks 60% whilst averaging more than 18 shots a game then Wilt Chamberlain comes back from the grave to give him a blowjob that’s literally out of this world. He turned the ball over just a little more than Carmelo Anthony (0.4 more turn overs a game) whilst averaging almost 3 times more assist. His PER is also the league’s highest at a jaw dropping 31.6. Contrast this with shoot first, shoot second and third Anthony’s field goal percentage of 44.9% and PER of 24.8. Yes Anthony does shoot a little higher from the charity strip but overall you have to give it to James.
Anthony : 3, James : 4.

Who is more clutch?”
Do me a favour, google the three most important games Carmelo Anthony has played in. Dime Magazine ranks his top five as 41 points, 11 rebounds, 5 steals against Dallas in the Western Semi Conference…. A game which Dallas wins.. Not a good start to tick off the list. The next game ranked if also another loss, this time to the purple and gold even with Anthony going 14/20 and dropping 39 points on KB24’s ass, ladies and gentlemen do I smell the next George Gervin? Game 3 on Anthony’s top 5 and FINALLY a win, (Isn’t winning the most important thing in a game?) Next, he drops 42 points on the Utah Jazz shooting a burning 72% from the field. Ranked at second for Anthony’s greatest game, Anthony clashes with the reigning champions Miami. Everyone remembers Carmelo smoking the Heat for the only win in the 2012 series, throwing down a CRITICAL 41 points for a two point win over Miami 89-87, ball game. Anthony was an offensive master in that game taking the smaller wade in the post and most importantly understanding that settling for a three pointers and holding the ball for 20 seconds wasn’t as effective as lay ups and put backs. Finally the greatest game of Carmelo Anthony’s whole career was his 42/17/6 performance he threw up against the Celtics in 2011, where he basically did everything to Paul Pierce but fondle his genitals and once again importantly WIN. What’s with Anthony throwing up crazy games but still losing, after a while you can’t just blame his team mates, maybe his game is like Allen Iversons, “Built on flash and not fire” in the words of Mr 23.

But really none of this matters, period, these five games doesn’t come close to the impact and importance LeBron James’ game 6 against Boston or maybe he’s dropping 48 against the Pistons and scoring 29 of his team’s last 30 points in a double over time game. No? Okay try 40/18/9 against the Pacers in the 2012 playoffs? No? Not buying it… Hmm okay you’ll definitely love his triple double against the Thunder in game 5 where he drops a quiet 26, some how grabs 11 rebounds and has enough energy to chip in with 13 assist. The biggest difference between James’ games and Anthony’s? James throws up crazy statistics and still manages to pull of the W. James wins more in tougher situations, now go stick your clutch gene up your ass Skip Bayless.
Anthony : 3, James : 5.

I conclude, in my opinion LeBron James is a better scorer than Carmelo Anthony, but it’s close just remember despite the fact both are excellent scorers, if Anthony is having an off shooting day then he’s basically useless, LeBron James can still impact the game through passing and defence. Right now in terms of scoring, Kevin Durant ranks at 1, James at 2, Anthony at 3, Bryant (healthy) at 4 and Harden/Curry at 5. Fuck you Ken Kenobi!


“Who makes it to Chingy’s annual All-NBA-Dirty team?”

There is no basketball player like a dirty basketball player. Yeah, just let that sink in. As in every sport there’s an abundance of meat heads, gimps and other homeless looking participants in the sport, but every year only five can make it to the sacred list. Who will win my Kurt Rambis award for being a visual cancer and crippling the eyesight of home audiences with their grotesque appearance? Let’s find out children!

Point Guard : Russell Westbrook
To tell you the truth, there aren’t that many “ugly” Point Guards in the NBA, there just isn’t, the smaller players look more human and less like a cave troll, but I had to take marks off Westbrook for looking like a teenage mutant ninja turtle wrapped in up urban vernacular and with one of the ugliest most horrendous wardrobes ever unleashed. His also got one of the fattest pairs of lips I’ve ever seen resembling an NFL football on a good day and a facial infection on a bad day.

Shooting Guard : Delonte West
Yes I’m going to cheat a little, West didn’t play in the 2013 season, he has been unsigned since his stunt with Dallas in 2012 and yes if I picked him then I might have been justified to pick Sam Cassell at Point, but meh, my list my rules. D West (Take that Dwyane Wade!) looks like a ghetto elf, he’s got Voldermort looking skin and a small pubescent face to go with that. Should I say it? Who’s going to crack the first LeBron James’ mother joke? No good sir, I insist you take that one.

Small Forward : Reggie Evans
Despite what player I pick, none of them can ever rival the immortal Tyrone Hill who’s taken home the Kurt Rambis award 4 times in his career, second only behind Sam Cassell. But Reggie Evans REALLY gives Mr Hill a run for his money. My first impression of Reggie Evans was “Good lord almighty did James Harden and Kimbo Slice have a love baby?” With a short pubic hair beard and a diamond shaped head, Reggie Evans is a sure pick at the forward position for the All-NBA-Dirty team until his retirement, God bless you Reggie, God bless.

Power Forward : Luis Scola
Known affectionately as the Argentinian STD to my family, Scola’s face has been a detriment to my health ever since his entry into the NBA. For some reason Scola’s hair always looks greasy and oily, always, the Severus Snape looks was trending in the early 20
th century but take looks should of died in the 60s never to be brought back. This season the Pacers are looking at Scola to provide a much needed post presence off the bench, but he’ll always be present on the All-NBA-Dirty team.

Centre : Chris Kaman
Chris “Feces” Kaman looks like a drug addict. He’s the modern hipster equivalent of Kurt Rambis with long whispy hair instead of Rambis’ magnificent mullet and a beer belly instead of black knee pads. It doesn’t help that Kaman is a tad chubby and overweight which inspires questions like “How can one be a healthy looking drug addict?” and “Why does he look like a sexually abused Thor?” One thing is for sure, he’s forever welcome in Chingy’s All-NBA-Dirty team

 

Will be the Bulls perform in the 2014 season.”
I’ve rarely seen as fan base support and turn on an athlete like the Chicago loyal did on their man Rose during the end of the 2013 season. Personally I didn’t understand the hatred Rose was generating, if one of the most basketball obsessed players says he’s not ready… Then he’s not ready. Sports is more than just physical, mentally he was rustier than Eddy Curry three weeks before pre-season. The Bulls also had no chance of defeating the Heat, yes we did our best Bad Boys impression we fouled hard, we played physical and I’m god dam proud of my boys for not backing an INCH against the reigning champions. But spirit can’t overcome injures and with an injured Noah and Deng in hospital for the flu, there was no chance we could match the fire power of the Akron Hammer (The coolest LeBron James nickname ever) I mean Thibudea needed to play Nate Robinson an average of THIRTY THREE MINUTES in the post season, uh uh not going to to cut it.

But he’s back, farewell sleepless nights, farewell thoughts of suicide and farewell sad drunken nights, Chicago’s hero has returned and according to the coldest scorer in the NBA Mr. Durant, “A lot of people criticized him for it and really were upset about him not playing, but it was the best thing for him. I can tell because he looks better.”

So…. Do I smell a championship?

Hmm.. This year is definitely a lot harder to predict, I guaranteed that LeBron James would win another ring after his monster year in 2012. He had his first taste and he was hungry for more and he was at the peak of his basketball career he was Tony Montana after a mountain of cocaine, he was Simba after becoming king, he was Stanley Ching after going 100% from the three point line in the 2011 season. No longer did he pay attention to the critics and he FINALLY realised that being 6’8 and a pure locomotive would make you unstoppable in the post. There was just NO way the Heat wasn’t winning, especially since Wade’s powers hadn’t completely fallen off and Bosh still knew how to rebound. This year? It’s a lot different. It is going to be the second time since the merger that a team has the potential to reach the finals four times in a row, the only other team the Celtics of the 80s, and a shout out to the 94 Bulls for being one horrible call away from also repeating the feat. You know what team means? Fatigue, more fatigue with a small serving of fatigue, the players are going to be exhausted, combined with the fact the emotional leader of the group; Wade begins to look more and more like an over paid Nick Young with zero jumpshot and even less lift in his knees. Will Bosh who pulled one of the greatest rebounding disappearing acts be able to still contribute? Most importantly will the passion still be there? Will Norris Cole and Haslem still care after a few rings under their belt? Will LeBron James get up at 4:30 to do a trillion push ups even after the critics have been quieted? This season is different, it just is and I no longer have the Heat as clear favourites in the east. My hint to Spolestra? Go easy on your perimeter players, relies less upon the small ball tactics which will run LeBron James into the ground and more upon the Odens, Haslems and Norris Coles of the team.

So will the Bulls pick up from their 2012 regular season? Ranked at number one in the eastern conference finals? I don’t think so, the Pacers have improved exponentially, the one two punch of Roy Hibbert and David West at the 4 and 5 is serious. Both are great defenders and both provide enough of a scoring threat around the block as well. Throw in legitimate perimeter players such as Paul George who is one of the best defenders of LeBron James and one of the most versatile players in the league. Inject a healthy Danny Granger who isn’t afraid to hit big shots and has a solid perimeter game with the league’s best defence and lord have mercy, the Pacers Bulls games are going to be a dog fight with scores just peaking around the 60s.

Do I think the Bulls are a better team then Pacers? Sigh… No. On paper the Pacers have one of the best teams and have a chance to be one of the best defensive teams of the 21st centuries, they’re stacked in every position except Point Guard and the twin towers they have are going to wreck havoc in a league that’s fallen in love with small ball. The only thing I can hang my hat upon is that fact my Bulls have a better fan base which knows how to affect games at home, secondly the Bulls don’t give up, you can cut off their hands (Noah) their legs (Rose) or arms (Deng) and we’ll still try to stand up for round 2. I was so proud of my Bulls for pulling through against Brooklyn in game 7 and winning game 1 against the Heat. I don’t think the Pacers have they sort of aggression or fire yet, they’re a franchise which lacks legacy of a Michael Jordan or a Pippen and they haven’t impacted enough of an impact in the post season as an unit. Nor do they have a basketball drug addict like Rose or a Thibodeau to grab the wheel and direct them back on course.

As I wrote in my last article, Brooklyn looks good on paper but how much faith can you put into a team that hasn’t played a single game together and has a bunch of older players as key clogs in the system? 2013 Lakers anyone? But I guess the difference between the two teams is the fact Garnett bleeds basketball and still masturbates over his 2008 ring, Dwight Howard on the other hand smiles and grins when his team gets blown out by 30 points. Garnett is a culture changer for sure and past team mates all have sworn on how Garnett can alter how a franchise operates by sheer desire of will. But I can’t get the Brooklyn collapse out of my head in game 7 against my Bulls in last year’s playoffs. Sure Joe Johnson might be better than Jimmy Butler (Debatable, could Johnson guarded James like Butler did? Hell no.) but defensively they’re not in the same area code, call me a fan boy call me a hater I still have the mighty Bulls in front of the Nets.

I’m not even going to focus on the rest of the league, yes the Pistons deserve some attention but I’m surprised the team hasn’t been engaged in an all out brawl, at the very least Brandon Jennings, Josh Smith and Charlie Villanueva should of at least thrown a few punches at each other already.

  1. Heat
  2. Pacers
  3. Bulls

 

Will there Houston implode if James Harden shaves his beard?”

Yes.

14 Questions Part 3.

Before I start this article, it’s been well known for weeks that Tracy McGrady and Allen Iverson have both retired. Dam.

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Let’s just start a step back and reminisce. Both were two of the top twenty scorers to have ever graced a basketball court at their basketball prime, Iverson was a little man that took absolute punishment game after game after game, as he just flung himself into the big men with reckless abandon, someone who sacrificed his body completely in the chase of a championship. Most importantly someone with a big heart, who looked after all his friends and family after making it big, someone who didn’t have the heart to say no to people he cared about. His MVP year in 2001 remains one of the greatest little man season (Under 6’0) of all time and one of the best statistical year altogether, 31.1 points, 4.6 assist, 2.5 steals, 42% and being the 76’ers only shot creator, only scorer and being somehow able to drag that team to the finals with game changing players such as Eric Snow, George Lynch and featuring the mind shatter, ground breaking pick and roll of Pepe Sanchez and Tyrone Hill (One of the dirtiest looking individuals, commonly mistaken for Adolf Hitler)

T-Mac was one of the most gifted scorers at his peak, he was an evolutionary George Gervin, someone who maintained the Ice Man’s touch around the basket, yet was one of the first big men to have cash money jumpshot but had a smooth cross over and could dribble. So imagine a Penny Hardaway with a better offensive game, that was T-Mac at his peak and his 2003 Orlando Magic year ranks as one of the greatest scoring displays of all time, he exploded for 32.1 points, 6.5 rebounds, 5.5 assist whilst hitting 45.7% and having a PER of 30.3.

Both players were amazing athletes, amazing scorers that never quite blossomed into a crunch time player, McGrady in particular never got out of the first round even in the year where the Rockets ripped up a 22 game win streak. Both players were never the best leaders or team mates (We talking about PRACTICE.) and both players along with Tim Duncan, Bryant, Nowitzki, Garnett and O’Neal were the poster boy for the 2000s and both have disappeared from the game, it’s officially the era of LeBrons, Durants, Westbrooks and Roses now.

“Is LeBron James a better scorer than Carmelo Anthony?”
Oh watch out, Ryde’s finest Kevin Jiang is going to kill me after reading that I’ve insulted his sexual fantasy. I’m going to argue for King James, in my humble opinion he’s a better scorer than Carmelo Anthony (Even if Carmelo won the scoring title) and it’s my job to convince you it as well. I’m going to break my arguments into the sections which follows.

Who is a better mid range shooter?
This one clearly goes to Carmelo Anthony, they isn’t an enormous gap between LeBron James and Anthony when it comes to shooting, but it’s big enough where I can safely say Carmelo is more deadly with his jumper.
Anthony : 1, James : 0

Who is a better slasher?
Likewise this is an absolute no brainer, LeBron James maybe the greatest slasher after Air Jordan, it depends how you feel about Doctor J or even Dwyane Wade, but there’s no way Carmelo Anthony deserves to be mentioned in that group of players, LeBron James is a mix of Karl Malone and Charles Barkley when he runs his 505 special, otherwise known as the coast to coast finish. There’s no one better at finishing fast breaks in today’s game and LeBron’s finishing ability was a key foundation to why the Heat was such a scary team offensively.
Anthony : 1, James : 1.

Who is a better three point shooter?
Now this one is much closer than people think, the obvious answer would be Carmelo Anthony, because he has one of the purest jumpshots in the NBA, but take a closer look, James actually has a higher 3 point percentage, 40.6% compared to Anthony’s 37.9% in the regular season. Keep in mind that Anthony took a lot more three point shots, almost double what James took, (6.2 to 3.3) so obviously his efficiency would drop. So an edge to Carmelo right now.

However, then you look at their playoff average and once again LeBron James is more accurate in efficiency, shooting a career average of 32.2% from behind the arc compared to Anthony’s 32.%, just slightly correct? Then throw in the fact Carmelo Anthony shot a disgusting 29.8% what was suppose to be his best year in his career, AKA 2013. James shot a blitzing 37.5% during the playoffs against better team and managed to take the Heat to the promised land.

But basketball isn’t a sport where you can sit down, look at the statistics and come to a scientific conclusion, statistics are not a be all end all to a basketball debate and discussion. Carmelo Anthony deserves more credit for being New York’s only scoring threat since JR Smith decided to become the anti-Durant after throwing an elbow at Jason Terry’s head. (I say Terry’s headband has magical properties) Also we should note that the New York Knicks were built around three, would LeBron James work in such a system? Would LeBron James feel comfortable consistently finding his shot behind the arc? Probably not, Anthony on the other hand felt right at home. He’s a scoring machine, that loves to shoot behind the arc, that feels comfortable throwing up 25 shots a game with more than 25% of them from the 3 point land. Carmelo Anthony wins this category, JUST.
Anthony : 2, James : 1.

Who is more versatile?
Carmelo Anthony owner of one of the better post games in the league, where he abuses his combination of size, speed and strength and even somehow managed to drug Kobe to the stage where he declares Anthony harder to guard than LeBron James. As mentioned he’s got a crazy jumpshot and once he catches fire, lord have mercy. But he’s not passing threat (In fact if anyone is the anti-Isiah Thomas of this generation it has to be Tyrus Thomas 1A and Carmelo Anthony 1B), his post game still lacks the shine of LeBron’s which was polished and honed on the biggest stage, nor can he go coast to coast. LeBron James more than Carmelo is truly an inside-outside player.
Anthony : 2, James : 2.

Who is more effective in the post?
LeBron James. He overwhelmed the league’s most athletic team in the 2012 finals, he treated Kevin Durant the same way a sex addict treats grade A quality pornography… In the words of the philosopher Souja Boy “Super man that hoe.” James just over powered the Thunder and Miami’s whole offense in games 2 to 5 revolved around James’ ability in the post and his super human athletic powers. Call me once Carmelo gets to the finals, much less takes the opposition down to the block for some Olajuwon reactments. “He just left him bamboozled!” (And if you haven’t, go Youtube “Olajuwon dominates Robinson” to watch a grand spanking.)
Anthony : 2, James : 3.

Who is a better free throw shooter?
LeBron James has shot a career 74.7% in the regular season and 74.9% in the post season.
Carmelo Anthony has shot a career 80.8% in the regular season and 82.6% in the post season.
Rest easy Ken Kenobi.
Anthony : 3, James : 3.

Who is more efficient?
LeBron James has shot a ridiculous 56.5% from the field and legend states if he breaks 60% whilst averaging more than 18 shots a game then Wilt Chamberlain comes back from the grave to give him a blowjob that’s literally out of this world. He turned the ball over just a little more than Carmelo Anthony (0.4 more turn overs a game) whilst averaging almost 3 times more assist. His PER is also the league’s highest at a jaw dropping 31.6. Contrast this with shoot first, shoot second and third Anthony’s field goal percentage of 44.9% and PER of 24.8. Yes Anthony does shoot a little higher from the charity strip but overall you have to give it to James.
Anthony : 3, James : 4.

Who is more clutch?
Do me a favour, google the three most important games Carmelo Anthony has played in. Dime Magazine ranks his top five as 41 points, 11 rebounds, 5 steals against Dallas in the Western Semi Conference…. A game which Dallas wins.. Not a good start to tick off the list. The next game ranked if also another loss, this time to the purple and gold even with Anthony going 14/20 and dropping 39 points on KB24’s ass, ladies and gentlemen do I smell the next George Gervin? Game 3 on Anthony’s top 5 and FINALLY a win, (Isn’t winning the most important thing in a game?) Next, he drops 42 points on the Utah Jazz shooting a burning 72% from the field. Ranked at second for Anthony’s greatest game, Anthony clashes with the reigning champions Miami. Everyone remembers Carmelo smoking the Heat for the only win in the 2012 series, throwing down a CRITICAL 41 points for a two point win over Miami 89-87, ball game. Anthony was an offensive master in that game taking the smaller wade in the post and most importantly understanding that settling for a three pointers and holding the ball for 20 seconds wasn’t as effective as lay ups and put backs. Finally the greatest game of Carmelo Anthony’s whole career was his 42/17/6 performance he threw up against the Celtics in 2011, where he basically did everything to Paul Pierce but fondle his genitals and once again importantly WIN. What’s with Anthony throwing up crazy games but still losing, after a while you can’t just blame his team mates, maybe his game is like Allen Iversons, “Built on flash and not fire” in the words of Mr 23.

But really none of this matters, period, these five games doesn’t come close to the impact and importance LeBron James’ game 6 against Boston or maybe he’s dropping 48 against the Pistons and scoring 29 of his team’s last 30 points in a double over time game. No? Okay try 40/18/9 against the Pacers in the 2012 playoffs? No? Not buying it… Hmm okay you’ll definitely love his triple double against the Thunder in game 5 where he drops a quiet 26, some how grabs 11 rebounds and has enough energy to chip in with 13 assist. The biggest difference between James’ games and Anthony’s? James throws up crazy statistics and still manages to pull of the W. James wins more in tougher situations, now go stick your clutch gene up your ass Skip Bayless.
Anthony : 3, James : 5.

I conclude, in my opinion LeBron James is a better scorer than Carmelo Anthony, but it’s close just remember despite the fact both are excellent scorers, if Anthony is having an off shooting day then he’s basically useless, LeBron James can still impact the game through passing and defence. Right now in terms of scoring, Kevin Durant ranks at 1, James at 2, Anthony at 3, Bryant (healthy) at 4 and Harden/Curry at 5. Fuck you Ken Kenobi!

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“Who makes it to Chingy’s annual All-NBA-Dirty team?”
There is no basketball player like a dirty basketball player. Yeah, just let that sink in. As in every sport there’s an abundance of meat heads, gimps and other homeless looking participants in the sport, but every year only five can make it to the sacred list. Who will win my Kurt Rambis award for being a visual cancer and crippling the eyesight of home audiences with their grotesque appearance? Let’s find out children!

Point Guard : Russell Westbrook
To tell you the truth, there aren’t that many “ugly” Point Guards in the NBA, there just isn’t, the smaller players look more human and less like a cave troll, but I had to take marks off Westbrook for looking like a teenage mutant ninja turtle wrapped in up urban vernacular and with one of the ugliest most horrendous wardrobes ever unleashed. His also got one of the fattest pairs of lips I’ve ever seen resembling an NFL football on a good day and a facial infection on a bad day.

Shooting Guard : Delonte West
Yes I’m going to cheat a little, West didn’t play in the 2013 season, he has been unsigned since his stunt with Dallas in 2012 and yes if I picked him then I might have been justified to pick Sam Cassell at Point, but meh, my list my rules. D West (Take that Dwyane Wade!) looks like a ghetto elf, he’s got Voldermort looking skin and a small pubescent face to go with that. Should I say it? Who’s going to crack the first LeBron James’ mother joke? No good sir, I insist you take that one.

Small Forward : Reggie Evans
Despite what player I pick, none of them can ever rival the immortal Tyrone Hill who’s taken home the Kurt Rambis award 4 times in his career, second only behind Sam Cassell. But Reggie Evans REALLY gives Mr Hill a run for his money. My first impression of Reggie Evans was “Good lord almighty did James Harden and Kimbo Slice have a love baby?” With a short pubic hair beard and a diamond shaped head, Reggie Evans is a sure pick at the forward position for the All-NBA-Dirty team until his retirement, God bless you Reggie, God bless.

Power Forward : Luis Scola
Known affectionately as the Argentinian STD to my family, Scola’s face has been a detriment to my health ever since his entry into the NBA. For some reason Scola’s hair always looks greasy and oily, always, the Severus Snape looks was trending in the early 20th century but take looks should of died in the 60s never to be brought back. This season the Pacers are looking at Scola to provide a much needed post presence off the bench, but he’ll always be present on the All-NBA-Dirty team.

Centre : Chris Kaman
Chris “Feces” Kaman looks like a drug addict. He’s the modern hipster equivalent of Kurt Rambis with long whispy hair instead of Rambis’ magnificent mullet and a beer belly instead of black knee pads. It doesn’t help that Kaman is a tad chubby and overweight which inspires questions like “How can one be a healthy looking drug addict?” and “Why does he look like a sexually abused Thor?” One thing is for sure, he’s forever welcome in Chingy’s All-NBA-Dirty team

 

Will be the Bulls perform in the 2014 season.”
I’ve rarely seen as fan base support and turn on an athlete like the Chicago loyal did on their man Rose during the end of the 2013 season. Personally I didn’t understand the hatred Rose was generating, if one of the most basketball obsessed players says he’s not ready… Then he’s not ready. Sports is more than just physical, mentally he was rustier than Eddy Curry three weeks before pre-season. The Bulls also had no chance of defeating the Heat, yes we did our best Bad Boys impression we fouled hard, we played physical and I’m god dam proud of my boys for not backing an INCH against the reigning champions. But spirit can’t overcome injures and with an injured Noah and Deng in hospital for the flu, there was no chance we could match the fire power of the Akron Hammer (The coolest LeBron James nickname ever) I mean Thibudea needed to play Nate Robinson an average of THIRTY THREE MINUTES in the post season, uh uh not going to to cut it.

But he’s back, farewell sleepless nights, farewell thoughts of suicide and farewell sad drunken nights, Chicago’s hero has returned and according to the coldest scorer in the NBA Mr. Durant, “A lot of people criticized him for it and really were upset about him not playing, but it was the best thing for him. I can tell because he looks better.”

So…. Do I smell a championship?

Hmm.. This year is definitely a lot harder to predict, I guaranteed that LeBron James would win another ring after his monster year in 2012. He had his first taste and he was hungry for more and he was at the peak of his basketball career he was Tony Montana after a mountain of cocaine, he was Simba after becoming king, he was Stanley Ching after going 100% from the three point line in the 2011 season. No longer did he pay attention to the critics and he FINALLY realised that being 6’8 and a pure locomotive would make you unstoppable in the post. There was just NO way the Heat wasn’t winning, especially since Wade’s powers hadn’t completely fallen off and Bosh still knew how to rebound. This year? It’s a lot different. It is going to be the second time since the merger that a team has the potential to reach the finals four times in a row, the only other team the Celtics of the 80s, and a shout out to the 94 Bulls for being one horrible call away from also repeating the feat. You know what team means? Fatigue, more fatigue with a small serving of fatigue, the players are going to be exhausted, combined with the fact the emotional leader of the group; Wade begins to look more and more like an over paid Nick Young with zero jumpshot and even less lift in his knees. Will Bosh who pulled one of the greatest rebounding disappearing acts be able to still contribute? Most importantly will the passion still be there? Will Norris Cole and Haslem still care after a few rings under their belt? Will LeBron James get up at 4:30 to do a trillion push ups even after the critics have been quieted? This season is different, it just is and I no longer have the Heat as clear favourites in the east. My hint to Spolestra? Go easy on your perimeter players, relies less upon the small ball tactics which will run LeBron James into the ground and more upon the Odens, Haslems and Norris Coles of the team.

So will the Bulls pick up from their 2012 regular season? Ranked at number one in the eastern conference finals? I don’t think so, the Pacers have improved exponentially, the one two punch of Roy Hibbert and David West at the 4 and 5 is serious. Both are great defenders and both provide enough of a scoring threat around the block as well. Throw in legitimate perimeter players such as Paul George who is one of the best defenders of LeBron James and one of the most versatile players in the league. Inject a healthy Danny Granger who isn’t afraid to hit big shots and has a solid perimeter game with the league’s best defence and lord have mercy, the Pacers Bulls games are going to be a dog fight with scores just peaking around the 60s.

Do I think the Bulls are a better team then Pacers? Sigh… No. On paper the Pacers have one of the best teams and have a chance to be one of the best defensive teams of the 21st centuries, they’re stacked in every position except Point Guard and the twin towers they have are going to wreck havoc in a league that’s fallen in love with small ball. The only thing I can hang my hat upon is that fact my Bulls have a better fan base which knows how to affect games at home, secondly the Bulls don’t give up, you can cut off their hands (Noah) their legs (Rose) or arms (Deng) and we’ll still try to stand up for round 2. I was so proud of my Bulls for pulling through against Brooklyn in game 7 and winning game 1 against the Heat. I don’t think the Pacers have they sort of aggression or fire yet, they’re a franchise which lacks legacy of a Michael Jordan or a Pippen and they haven’t impacted enough of an impact in the post season as an unit. Nor do they have a basketball drug addict like Rose or a Thibodeau to grab the wheel and direct them back on course.

As I wrote in my last article, Brooklyn looks good on paper but how much faith can you put into a team that hasn’t played a single game together and has a bunch of older players as key clogs in the system? 2013 Lakers anyone? But I guess the difference between the two teams is the fact Garnett bleeds basketball and still masturbates over his 2008 ring, Dwight Howard on the other hand smiles and grins when his team gets blown out by 30 points. Garnett is a culture changer for sure and past team mates all have sworn on how Garnett can alter how a franchise operates by sheer desire of will. But I can’t get the Brooklyn collapse out of my head in game 7 against my Bulls in last year’s playoffs. Sure Joe Johnson might be better than Jimmy Butler (Debatable, could Johnson guarded James like Butler did? Hell no.) but defensively they’re not in the same area code, call me a fan boy call me a hater I still have the mighty Bulls in front of the Nets.

I’m not even going to focus on the rest of the league, yes the Pistons deserve some attention but I’m surprised the team hasn’t been engaged in an all out brawl, at the very least Brandon Jennings, Josh Smith and Charlie Villanueva should of at least thrown a few punches at each other already.

  1. Heat
  2. Pacers
  3. Bulls

 

Will there Houston implode if James Harden shaves his beard?”
Yes.

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Chingy out.

14 Questions for 2014, Part Two.

There’s a common misconception that God almighty took a  rest on the seventh day of creation, that’s false, instead he sat down and wrote 14 QUESTIONS FOR 2014 PART TWO. Get some while it’s hot!

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“Is Dwight Howard’s legacy tainted forever because he’s a bitch.”
Dear Lord, I almost sound like a bitter Laker fan, I’m going to take one of those long depressive baths you saw in the Hurt Locker and cleanse myself from the Laker infection. Let’s get some facts straight, from 2009-2011, (2009) in particular, Dwight Howard was an absolute beast on defense, his worth and value were much more than just numbers, he made every player scared to attack the paint, he made them hesitate because a 6’10 locomotive was waiting in the lane. Give me 2009 Dwight Howard’s defense along with 10 points over 18 points and 2013 Howard any day. Give him another 3/4 uninjured years and he would of solidified himself as one of the greatest defenders of all time. Shame shame shame. Then two things happened, Dwight Howard decided to star in his very own reality television show!!! (Sorry, couldn’t help myself) and Dwight Howard hurt his back injuring a herniated disk in his spine.

He’s never been the same.

I had Howard ranked 15 in 2013’s top 30 list and as the second best center after Marc Gasol, does he really deserve to be around the 15 position? Not really the Lakers failed miserably in the playoffs and his goofy, fun loving attitude wasn’t exactly productive to team chemistry especially since Kobe is trying to equal Jordan in rings. My biggest surprised was the fact Kobe didn’t start an all out brawl at the Staples after Howard goes 4/14 from the free throw line for the third time in consecutive nights.

So how does D12 blend in with Houston Rockets, firstly I don’t think Howard is built for the big cities, he just doesn’t give the impression that he lives or dies for basketball the way a DRose, KB24 or even a Carmelo Anthony gives off. That 3/15 from the free throw line with that big smile even after a 30 point spanking just doesn’t fly in Los Angeles. Unacceptable. Now he’s teaming up with James Harden, a HUGE step down from Kobe Bryant in terms of competitive fire also Harden isn’t as alpha as Kobe so they should gel decently well, better than Howard and Kobe bonded anyway. The quick pace the Rockets love to play is also going to highlight Howard’s strength and downplay his weakness. Firstly no center can keep up with Dwight Howard, his physical gifts should really shine in Kevin McHale’s system. Secondly Dwight Howard still has yet to get more than two post moves (Running hook with both hands and shifting to a face up position and blitzing past the defenders.) in such a guard dominant system, Howard wouldn’t have to occupy the post as much, he just needs to grab rebounds, defend and score easy buckets. Shouldn’t be too hard right? After all he led a mediocre Orlando Magic team to the finals based on the same philosophy.

So is Howard’s legacy tainted forever? No, not really, he still has a chance to be one of the greatest defenders of all time with 7 All Star appearances and 3 DPOY awards. Will he surpass David Robinson and Patrick Ewing in the second or third tier of great big men? Probably not. His legacy has been dented but not broken.

“Should we the most attractive cheerleader in every NBA organisation perform a one minute solo during the half time break and then the world can answer the critically important question of which team has the hottest cheerleader bro? Dude are they wearing underwear or shorts? Allowing male audiences to systemically rank each organisation not on wins but on boobs.”
MAKE THIS HAPPEN DAVID STERN 2.0 (Adam Silver)

“Will the New York Knicks be better than the Brooklyn Nets?”
One important aspect of basketball that the 2013 Lakers highlighted, you just can’t throw a bunch of big names together and expect them to gel you have to factor their age (Steve Nash, I’m looking at you) and their personality (Dwight Howard) and you need a coach that knows what a post move is. (D’Antino) On paper Nets have a better team, the starting five of Deron Williams, Joe Johnson, Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, Brook Lopez looks ferocious on paper, it includes 3 players which are in my top 30 and 2 other players in my top 50 players for the 2013 season. Throw in Jason Terry (Sparkplug), Reggie Evans (Homeless version of LeBron James with better rebounding skills) and Kirilenko and that’s some serious fire power. Jason Kidd remains to be a mystery but he was one of the five smartest players of the 2000s along with Steve Nash, Kobe Bryant, Tim Duncan, Chris Paul and Tyrus Thomas in an alternate reality. There’s no way he becomes a horrible coach? Right? Maybe especially with a lot of talent around him…. But then again my mind flashes with Bill Russell (Coached a poor team to a poor record), Willis Reed (Meh) and Wes Unseld made everyone in Washington suicidal and don’t tell me Bill Russell wasn’t a basketball genius. Just don’t.

The Knicks have a forever injured Stoudamire, Andrea Bargnani whose excelled so much as the Three-Pointer-Shooter-No-Defense role I’m surprised Dirk Nowitzki hasn’t popped the question, Tyson Chandler who did not look like himself in the playoffs (Neither did KG but KG’s passion is infectious, how many times has Carmelo Anthony thought “Hey I should rebound because that’s what Chandler wants me to do?” Not many times) and the second best scorer in today’s game; Carmelo Anthony. I’ve always been a believer in a great scores will always win you one game in a playoff series’ll throw up 42 points (Think Harden against the Thunder) and only a few guys in the league can do this; Kobe, Carmelo, LeBron, Durant, Westbrook, Chris Paul, Curry, Harden and MAYBE Parker that’s it. Sorry Wade, Nowitzki and Paul Pierce.

So who’s going to be better? Probably Brooklyn… Am I going to discount the Laker’s crash and burn failure of 2013? Some what, Brooklyn just has so much talent on paper, their disgraceful collapse at the hand of a Bull team without Rose, Deng and an injured Noah whilst allowing Nate Robinson to look like a midget version of Durant was unacceptable. But that should probably be fixed with Garnett’s addition to the team, he’ll install a competitive fire under Deron William and Lopez’s ass because he’s a maniac, a psycho that lives and breathes basketball and then eats little children after games. Speaking of which can we get Kevin Garnett to play in international beach volley after he retires, the image of a 7 foot Zulu tribe leader playing on white sand is too funny.

14 Questions for 2014.

It’s the first installment of Chingy’s 14Qs to start off the 2014 season where we ask the real questions, so gather your little children around the campfire, roast your mash mellows and proceed to share all your hair in ecstatic delight this is 14 Questions for 2014!

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“Will Miami Heat 3-peat?”
Yes. I hate this and I’m probably going to be become an alcoholic in 2014. The Miami Heat are still the best team in the east despite the addition of Derrick Rose back to the Bulls (HELL YEAH!), despite the Nets acquiring Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett and despite Indianna Pacers trying to desperately rip off a Bad Boys impersonation. The Heat have the biggest advantage in the whole league right now, LeBron James, who is experiencing his greatest stretch of basketball since Michael Jordan’s peak years of 1988-1993. There are two reasons and only two I have to doubt the Heat.

1. Dwyane Wade’s knees which have a ridiculously large amount of mileage and he can no longer consistently  perform like he did in 2009 where he was just an athletic freak of nature that was guardable on the fast break, and an unguardable slasher, someone who could will himself to get 10 free throws a game just by charging into the paint recklessly. Apart from losing the Zydrunas Ilgauskas award (Hardest name to spell in the NBA) to Nikoloz Tskitishvili of the Phoenix Suns, Wade has also lost a lot of the explosion in his knees. It seemed the sports world had a little bit of an orgasm after Wade produced one or two good games in the Eastern Conference Finals and one or two good games in the 2013 finals. Should we really be surprised that the fourth greatest shooting guard all of time is able to perform under pressure? Should we be surprised when 7 years ago he had one of the greatest finals performances of all time with O’Neal as his second in charge and the referees as his sixth man? (Sorry, too soon) A performance where he averaged 34.7 points, 7.8 rebounds (WHAT), 3.8 assists and had a crazy 33.8 PER? Probably not… Yet Wade’s game hasn’t evolved he has yet to get a consistent jumpshot and let’s not even start about his three point shooting. Wade also had a Gary Payton/Jason Kidd kind of post game he would switch too if he had little munchkins like Nate Robinson or Chris Paul guarding him, he definitely didn’t have that in the finals.

2. Mental fatigue. It’s my biggest issue, Wade’s a warrior he’ll come back he may no longer be the high flying death machine he was from 2006-2011 but he’s still a good player. Mental fatigue is the biggest killer on this team, it’s hard to still motivated after so much basketball, after the world criticises every action and word you say, after you go to 3 finals in a row and LeBron James played at the 2012 Olympics, that’s seriously a lot of ball. Will Norris Cole and Haslem be able to stay motivated? Especially since they’re already wearing two rings? Will LeBron James be able to consistently enter Boston game 6 where he ripped out the throats of his defenders? Do the Heat still care enough after winning 27 in a row and cementing themselves in the history books? Hmm…

“Which team is most likely going to have an all out brawl in practice.”
See I’m telling you, I’m asking the questions that really matter! Well I’m definitely going to throw the Sacramento Kings in at one number, they’ve been an absolute disgrace as a basketball team, why did I still have to ask the following questions in 2013, how come Tyreke Evans IS STILL shooting anything from 20 feet and beyond, why is Boogie still death stares the referees without running back to play defence, why does Michael Malone (coach) look like he wants to kill himself on most days. Legitimately any team that features Boogie, Isiash Thomas or Travis Outlaw deserves to make it to Chingys-All-NBA-Brawl-Team of 2014.

I have the Clippers finishing at second, there’s already beef between Chris Paul, Blake Griffin and DeAndre Jordan (Runner up for most ghetto first name with Marshon Brooks coming first) and it’s documented. Griffin dislikes how much sway Paul has, he dislikes he isn’t relied upon more to close and he dislikes how everyone thinks he’s a bitch around the league. Paul doesn’t trust Griffin to close, he doesn’t like it how Griffin and Jordan seem like they love dunking more than winning and Jordan is pissed off for some reason. Can’t you totally see CP3 flipping out at Jordan after he rubs him on the head like Pau Gasol? I can, sign me up for the Clippers-WWE-Match! Make it happen David Stern/ Adam Silver!

“Will the LeBron James win MVP”
Yes. LeBron James is a monster right now and he knows it, you know the scene in Terminator 2 where Arnold Schwarzenegger enters the bar, destroys everyone, steals the biker’s clothes, impresses every female with his long penis and rock the sunglasses like an absolute boss with Bad to the Bone playing in the background? That’s LeBron James, he’s Scarface after a mountain of Cocaine, he’s Michael Jackson after Thriller, he’s king of the world right now. Who else in HISTORY can defend the 1,2,3,4 and 5 like James? Pippen? Not strong or athletic enough (Read that statement again, Pippen not athletic enough? Dear Lord is James a cyborg?), Magic Johnson? He isn’t close to the on ball defender that James is…. Who else? No one. LeBron James is the first person in history to create the Power-Guard-Defend-Every-Player position. He’s the second greatest passing Small Forward behind Larry Legend, his on ball defence deserves mention in the league with Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen and Michael Cooper. Athletically he’s up there with Chamberlain, MJ23 and prime O’Neal, he’s a gust of wind and we’re the leaves. He’s the best player in the world and only Jordan from 1991-1993, O’Neal (2000-2002), Larry Bird (1985-1987) and Hakeem Olajuwon (1993-1995) have submitted a matching three year crescendo of basketball dominance. Wilt’s statistics meant every little in the playoffs as he’s performance dipped and he often shrunk underneath the pressure, Elgin Baylor’s and Oscar Robertson’s greatness likewise produced nothing when it came to rings, Kobe Bryant’s 2006-2008 stretch had one finals appearance. Fun fact, if I had the second pick in the Greatest Basketball Draft of all time, I would pick LeBron James (2013) second. Who else can be your point guard, your defensive anchor, your lock down perimeter defender, can guard every position, can destroy you on fastbreaks and overpower you in the post and to top it off be athletically invincible? No one, that’s who. I respect greatness when I see it and LeBron James is great.

Chingy out.

PART ONE OF 14 QUESTIONS.

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